Trying to peal the plastic off a bowling pin….well, it would be
easier to rip the plastic bumper off a new car with your bare
hands than to disrobe a bowling pin.
BOWLING FOR BUTTS
By Daniel D. Ziegler
Might as well share this personal story with you. Somehow I know you will
I do some wood carving, particularly walking sticks--with a phallus at the top
end--mainly for my nudist friends. I have to carve these. Don't ask me why.
I don't know why. I just know that I have to...and that it is healing... maybe to
the planet, maybe to me, I don't know.
A couple months ago I was bored and needed to do some wood phalli
carving but I didn't have any wood to work with. Also, I moved into this
apartment where I have no privacy outside whatsoever, so it would be hard
to carve anything phallic out there. But I got this crazy notion that I would go
to a bowling alley and talk them out of an old used bowling pin. I would try to
strip the plastic off and carve the wood underneath--which I assumed to be
a hardwood like maple. This I could easily carve over the kitchen sink
without having a mess all over the apartment and without having to carve
outside within view of the neighbor's windows.
So I did. I went to the bowling alley and told the young fellow I needed an old
bowling pin to carve. He was happy to oblige. In fact, he gave me a whole
box--10. Oh boy, I thought, this is abundance. This is the Universe
supporting my work. Definitely!
Trying to peal the plastic off a bowling pin….well, it would be easier to rip
the plastic bumper off a new car with your bare hands than to disrobe a
bowling pin. They don't want to give up their cover. But finally, after several
nights of engineering in my sleep, I came up with a way of doing it that after
trying it, it actually worked. Hard work but it finally gave up its top-coat. I was
disappointed though, because the wood underneath was damaged from
the brutal beatings it had taken over the years. So I gave up on the idea
and tried to forget that I had a whole box of these things sitting
conspicuously in my closet.
Weeks went by, weeks of painful personal growth, and loneliness, and
deadly boredom. Finally one of those nights when the “engineer” in me
couldn't sleep, again, I resolved to give it my best shot in the morning--to
carve this piece of already defiled wood into a phallus.
So, in the morning I started in. Boy, this wood was hard. The hardest wood I
had ever carved. But with a lot of pressure it would give way to the rasp.
After several hours of sweaty, grueling hard work, I had it done. Not bad!
And when I applied the linseed oil, it kind of brought it to life. I was
satisfied...and tired, but in a good sort of way.
A couple days later, after the coats of linseed oil started to build up and it
was actually looking like art, I thought, well, why not... one more. This time
the plastic yielded a little easier--or I was starting to catch on how to do it--
and I carved a second one, this time trying a little different look. Not bad,
Well, the next day, seeing what I had created, my ego set me into motion to
strip the plastic off the remaining eight pins. All during this time, I was
resolving not to carve them, but to just take the plastic off, that's it! Just….
well....just to have that plastic off, that's all! NO CARVING!
To make a long story short, two weeks later I had the most beautiful
complete set of carved phallic bowling pins that literally anyone has ever
seen. They stand so proud at attention... like little soldiers in formation. No
one would ever want to knock them down...no one except maybe a fanatic
bowler with a six pack under his belt... but no one in their right mind. This is
(Click thumbnail for larger image.)
But, once I do something like that, it's usually enough. Time to go on to
something else...certainly something a little less strenuous. A job well done
and I had stuck with it. I completed it. There was nothing left to do on this
project but to admire it...and figure out who I could show them to.
...Well, one more thing...
I decided I needed to have one bowling pin, plastic still intact, just to show
myself and others what the originals had looked like. So this past Monday I
stopped at the bowling alley one last time to get one more pin.
They must have seen me coming.
The woman at the desk called to the back and told the guy what I needed.
And in less than a minute, the guy in the back called up to the front desk
saying he had two boxes set outside in back for me. Just pull around.
I drove around back, saw the boxes, pulled up and stopped. The same
young fellow that gave me the original box full stepped out and
apologetically said that usually he has thirty or forty boxes but only had two
right now. I thanked him and said that was fine.
…And I thanked God he didn't have any more than just two. I don't know
what I'm going to do with these two.
Abundance? Is that what this is? Or does the Universe have a sense of
humor? Does it really think I am going to carve these? Well, It better come
up with a better idea.
Wait a minute… I may have come up with one…
Ooooohhhhhhhh God, it feels so good.!
(Seem my article ANAL HEALING WORK
Copyright 2000 Dan Ziegler
LESS-ONS FOR TRUTH
Reclaiming Acceptance of our Original State